


fools rush in (been a fool before)

by cosmicwritings



Series: tumblr prompts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, neville and the weasley twins and ernie are??? mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicwritings/pseuds/cosmicwritings
Summary: i love you + "as a goodbye."





	

**Author's Note:**

> @kestraltrajen requested: i love you "as a goodbye" + any rare pair, so i chose hannah x susan. originally posted on my blog @hannahabbott where i'm still taking requests in my /tagged/prompts tag, i love these two so much pls it's set right before the battle of hogwarts so?? leave kudos or a comment and i'll love you forever. title from please don't say you love me by gabrielle aplin!!

Hannah is bright. She is like a beacon in the ocean of dark robes – both figuratively and literally.

Two lemon-blonde pigtails bounce for a moment as the girl moves forward, and Susan cannot stop staring at them. She thinks if she closes her eyes, she can see very clearly eleven-year-old Hannah sitting under the Sorting Hat, nervously pulling at one of her pigtails. At the beginning of the year, Susan had asked her, in their dorm room, watching Hannah tie her hair, why she continues to do it in such a way.

“Consistency,” Hannah said, after a pause. Her hand stills. There’s a thump in the bathroom next door, followed by a string of curse words, and Susan would note absentmindedly that that’s the third time this week Megan Jones has dropped something. “Consistency is important.”

And then Susan remembers visiting Hannah’s home three summers ago, that little house with the smell of different baked goods in the air and potted plants at each windowsill. Hannah’s father had helped her up once Susan had fallen through the Floo with a bright grin, pointed up the stairs to tell her that Hannah was still in her room. Susan had hesitantly climbed the stairs and peeked into the first room on the left, pausing when she saw an older woman gently pulling Hannah’s hair back in front of the mirror.

(She briefly wonders if Hannah tied her hair back the same way all through the sixth year that she missed.)

With a lurch forward, Susan wrapped her arms around Hannah’s shoulders, and she felt arms come up to squeeze her back. 

Right now, Susan is reaching her fingers out in front of her, moving to brush against Hannah’s elbow. Further ahead, Ernie is talking urgently to Hannah, most likely going over last-minute strategies now that the younger years had herded out. Susan looks briefly to her left, over her shoulder. Zacharias had left earlier, leaving a slight ache in Susan’s chest, but she had let him go. 

Ernie is still talking to Hannah, both moving deeper into the crowd, towards Neville, and Susan wants to call out.

Please don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone.

Because that’s what it always has been, hasn’t it? Ernie and Hannah and Justin were their own little trio, from the very first day they had started this school. And Justin was most likely hiding out in some woods somewhere (not dead, Susan hoped fervently, not dead), but Ernie and Hannah were still here. Susan won’t complain, that’s not who she is – and she’s had Zacharias all these years, no matter how prickly he is, and all the rest of the Hufflepuffs. They’re all still a unit, but it’s not the same.

And then, Hannah glances back, a crinkle in her brow, making her soft face hard. 

“C’mon,” she says, a pigtail swinging as she grabs Susan’s outstretched hand, and they’re both running forward to catch up with Ernie – who’s still talking, not even stopping to see if anyone is listening. 

Battle plans are distributed in tense voices, and Susan strains her ears to listen to them all. 

As Fred and George volunteer to guard the secret passageways, Neville is scanning the members of Dumbledore’s Army; he’s mentally sorting them out based on what skills are best. Susan knows that look. He’s been wearing it all year.

“We need a few more, there’s not enough to guard…” Susan hears Fred, at least she thinks, saying. 

“Take Hannah,” Neville says, authority in his voice that the Weasley twins seem surprised to hear. Not one of the DA members who have been at school this year reacts the same way. “And Parvati. They’ll do all right there.”

“I’ll go as well,” Susan pipes up, almost immediately, and she raises her eyebrows when Neville shakes his head.

“We need you for defense. They’re better at attacking. We’ll need you at one of the towers.”

Susan opens her mouth to argue, but unsurprisingly finds that Neville is right. Her Aunt Amelia (and, oh, wasn’t that a scabbed wound to open) had taught her to watch for the small details, to keep an eye out for things that usually go unnoticed, over a clipboard at Ministry courtrooms. There is definitely more than one Shielding spell at the forefront of her mind.

As Neville, along with other older Order members watching in bemusement, continues to delegate roles, Susan turns to Hannah, but Hannah’s already opening her mouth to say something.

She closes it when no sound comes out. She opens it again.

“We’ll be all right,” she says eventually. Her blue eyes look like pools in the candlelight, filling with tears that haven’t fallen yet.

Hannah has always cried easy. Curled up in her bed, sharing a bar of chocolate in their fifth year, she had told Susan that she had anxiety. Umbridge didn’t like Susan already because of her aunt, but she nevertheless told Lee Jordan which window of Umbridge’s office was left open the next time Umbridge made fun of Hannah’s stuttering answers in class.

“Yeah,” Susan whispers, because she doesn’t really know what else to say. Hannah’s hand is still in hers. “The Death Eaters won’t know what hit them.”

Hannah huffs out a watery laugh. She squeezes her hand, and something in Susan’s chest hurts. Her mouth opens to say something again, but then the Weasley twins are calling for their group to go with them and moving away.

“Go.” It takes every ounce of her body to finally release Hannah’s hand. Susan tries for a smile and doesn’t really know how successful it is. 

“See you once we’ve won this war,” and Hannah’s smile seems much more real, more blinding. 

She turns away to keep up with Fred and George’s group, who are just starting to leave the room. Susan watches her. Decides she can’t take it.

“Hey, Hannah,” she calls. Her heart’s in her throat, her muscles tensing. She doesn’t think she can let her friend go without telling her. She doesn’t think she can see her friend’s body laid out cold without telling her. “Hey, Hannah.”

The blonde stops, spinning back around. 

Goodbye, Susan wants to say, but it comes out as, “I love you.”

There it is. For all the good Susan is at picking up details, she cannot pinpoint the time she realised she had fallen in love with the girl who slept one bed away from her. It had not been an epiphany; she had just looked at Hannah laughing one day and thought, I could spend my entire life listening to that sound. Maybe she’s loved her all this time. Maybe the semblance of peace that rests in her breastbone matches hers.

Those blue eyes turn wide, her mouth opening ever so slightly in shock, colour rising to her cheeks. Susan wonders why Hannah always seems so surprised when people genuinely tell Hannah they like her. She could spend years making Hannah see what everyone else does. She thinks that magic could hardly compare to the sight of Hannah smiling.

“I love you too,” falls out of Hannah’s mouth, gentle and powerful. There’s something singing in Susan’s head. She doesn’t know how long she’s going to live, but she thinks that the last image she wants in her head before death takes her is the look on Hannah’s face in this moment.

Fred’s (or George’s?) head peeks around the corner ahead, raising an eyebrow. “Just did a headcount and missed one. You coming, Abbott?”

Hannah stares at Susan for another long moment, before nodding and heading towards Fred. “Sorry, I’m here.” And then they’re both gone, and Susan breathes.


End file.
